Sunday, March 24, 2013

Meet The Press - March 24, 2012

Richard Engel
Mayor Mike Bloomberg (NYC)
Wayne LaPierre – NRA
E.J. Dionne
Ralph Reed
David Brooks
David Boies

Gregory: wow Obama went to Israel 
and also Iran is threatening us

Audience: eek

Gregory: Obama brought Israel 
and Turkey together

Engel: Turkey is needed to prevent 
the whole Middle East from imploding

Gregory: Syria is the middle of a civil war

Engel: Syria's chief export is instability
– Obama went to reassure Israel

Gregory: his presence is comforting

Engel: some say he went too far to 
embrace the dream of Zion

Gregory: like Neo he is the chosen one

Brooks: Obama's trip was a total triumph –
he endorsed the zionist dream and also
supported Palestinian statehood

Gregory: assuming we are going 
to invade another middle east 
country which one should it be?

Dionne: Obama reestablished the two-state 
solution now can John Kerry make it happen?

Greg: oy gevalt!

[ break ]

Gregory: Obama went to Israel –
what did you think?

Bloomberg: he actually achieved something
pretty impressive

Gregory: you are going all-in against guns
but has the moment after Newtown been lost?

Bloomberg: 90% of the public thinks we
should have reasonable checks on buying guns

Gregory: and yet the assault weapons ban failed

Bloomberg: wait until you see my incredible ad blitz

Gregory: you can't think the assault gun
ban will pass do you?

Bloomberg: we shall see Greggers

Gregory: you sound like you've been
defeated by the NRA

Bloomberg: it's not over yet Fluffy

Gregory: Wayne LaPierre says you have a
secret agenda to create a registry of gun
owners to take all their guns away

Bloomberg: Wayne LaPierre is a lunatic
who wants crazy people to have military weapons

Gregory: true but he's not alone

Bloomberg: there are 300% more gun 
stores than McDonalds

Gregory: why not combine them
with a drive-thru gun store?

Bloomberg: in McDonalds in Europe 
you can buy a glass of beer and in Texas 
a military-style machine gun

Gregory: what about the Second Amendment?

Bloomberg: the Court has said background
checks are perfectly legal Fluffers

Gregory: will you target people
who don't support gun control?

Bloomberg: look I don't like guns and I
have the money and intend to spend it

Gregory: willl you spend a lot of money?

Bloomberg: I've already spent $12 million

Gregory: or as you call it 'spare change'

Bloomberg: right

Gregory: will politicians pay a price
for not controlling guns?

Gregory: If I have anything to say about it

Gregory: how far will you take your 
war on sugary drinks?

Bloomberg: I will never stop 
fighting Big Sweetness!

Gregory: you'll have to pry my
big gulp from my very cold purple hands

Bloomberg: sugar kills more people than starvation!

Gregory: then why not send 
the starving our twinkies?

Bloomberg: Salt kills David!

Gregory: are you going to ban salt too now?

Bloomberg: it's the new crack

Gregory: people will have to go to
Amsterdam to score some a little 
illicit sodium

Bloomberg: obesity is a public health threat!

Gregory: where do you cross the 
line into Big Mother?

Bloomberg: look we don't allow guns on airplanes
or asbestos in schools so why not ban sweet drinks in large amounts

Gregory: thanks for coming Mayor

[ break ]

Gregory: Wayne talk crazy to me

LaPierre: that rich Mayor is clearly crazy -
Americans cling to their sugar, fat and guns

Gregory: well he's spending millions –
are you armed and prepared?

LaPierre: we do not want Americans to
have nuclear weapons unless they really need one

Gregory: almost everyone wants
universal background checks

LaPierre: background checks are useless
because they don't catch the mentally ill

Gregory: you are worried about a national registry

LaPierre: what two farmers do in the privacy
of their own gun sale is their own business

Gregory: why not have a registry
to track dangerous weapons?

LaPierre: criminals won't be in a registry 
- it will be you and me

Gregory: just the two of us?

LaPierre: George Stephanopoulos can come too

Gregory: can you support any kind 
of background check?

LaPierre: yes I would support adding
people who are adjudicated dangerous
into the system but keeping the giant loophole

Gregory: Joe Biden says the Constitution
doesn't require limitless ammunition

LaPierre: please - the AR-15 is like a little toy gun

Gregory: I did not know that

LaPierre: gun owners are the
true victims of these lies

Gregory: would limiting machine guns
violate the Constitution?

LaPierre: hell yes!

Gregory: you have staked
out an extreme position

LaPierre: ask the White House why
Obama won't prosecute drug dealers
with guns in Chicago?!

Gregory: would you support any 
kind of limit on guns?

LaPierre: no – guns keep us safe!

Gregory: you want armed guards in schools

LaPierre: every mom and dad wants
their kids at a school with more guns

Gregory: of course

LaPierre: also we need to lock up
more people for the crime of sounding crazy

Gregory: I'd be careful with that if I were you

LaPierre: Obama doesn't want to 
prosecute gang members!

Gregory: that's going a little far isn't it?

LaPierre: he loves thugs and 
gangs and drug dealers!

Gregory: thanks for coming Wayne

[ break ]

Gregory: Ralph almost 60% of
people support gay marriage

Reed: yes other polls shows gay marriage is 'icky'

Rosen: even most evangelical kids 
support marriage equality!

Brooks: this is greatest time to be 
gay since Ancient Greece

Gregory: what a time that must have been

Brooks: gays wanted committed
relationships – I mean who knew?

Gregory: what's wrong with gay marriage Ralph?

Reed: because men parts fit better with lady parts

Dionne: gays are the only ones left still
supporting traditional family values!

Rosen: married gay couples are just
like others except men do housework

Gregory: ha

Rosen: the plaintiffs in court are wrong because
the purpose of marriage is not to have kids – it's love

Reed: that's not fair

Rosen: of course it is

Reed: the only issue before the court
is are gay parents bad therefore
no gay person can ever get married

Rosen: that is all kinds of stupid

[ break ]

Gregory: David are gays a protected class?

Boies: yes - but even if they are not banning marriage is irrational

Gregory: ooh

Boies: gay marriage is good for children!

Gregory: aren't you asking the Supreme Court
to invalidate laws in dozens of states

Boies: yes but that has to be done when
states are discriminating unfairly

Gregory: was Roe v Wade decided too quickly?

Boies: Fluffy this is not about creating a right –
it's expanding a right to everyone

Gregory: predict the Court's vote for me

Boies: we will win!

Gregory: thanks for coming

Gregory: Ralph when do Republicans 
finally support gay marriage?

Reed: never!

Gregory: really?

Reed: The GOP is pro-marriage

Rosen: no you aren't

Reed: we're pro-marriage for the right people
and we're anti-marriage for the wrong people

Rosen: the Constitution applies to everyone
to protect the spine of America

Gregory: can we ever get gun legislation passed?

Dionne: the whole country is
in favor background checks

Brooks: why are we talking about background
checks when we should be putting more in prison?

Rosen: Republicans are fighting for
less spending on police and prosecutors!

Reed: the proposed law would not prevent
Newtown therefore we should have fewer
laws which also would not prevent Newtown

Gregory: that makes so much sense

Reed: darn right

Gregory: and that's another
episode of Meet The Press


This Week with George Stephanopoulos - March 24, 2013

Jim Messina – Obama campaign
Karl Rove
Peggy Noonan
Donna Brazile
Terry Moran
Stephanopoulos: Karl share your wisdom with us

Rove: Democrats are big spenders
unlike the Bush administration

Stephanopoulos: Obama is reaching out to Republicans

Messina: he's always done that

Stephanopoulos: not that much

Messina: he did but they ignored him

Stephanopoulos: Obama is almost as
unpopular as Republicans

Brazile: this week Senators got a chance
to reach out to Americans watching
C-SPAN at 3:00 a.m.

Noonan: since Obama began reaching out
to Republicans his popularity has plummeted

Stephanopoulos: interesting

Noonan: Americans are rebelling against
mandated health care

Stephanopoulos: Mike Bloomberg is creating
ads showing a grizzled hunter
supporting background checks

Messina: most people in the NRA support
background checks

Rove: this isn't about the mentally ill –
it's about grandpa giving his treasured
shotgun to his granddaughter

Stephanopoulos: awww that's sweet

Rove: this would create a national
registry of gun owners

Stephanopoulos: well how else would
a background check work?

Rove: issue trusted gun owners
a Frequent Gun Buyer Pass

Stephanopoulos: nice

Rove: let's not trample on legitimate 
rights just because of a few murders 
in an elementary school

Stephanopoulos: fair point

Rove: gun haters are just trying to scare people

Moran: you're scaring people with
talk of U.N. Black helicopters taking people's guns

Rove: that's actually happening now!

Moran: you're paranoid

Rove: it's not paranoia when the FEMA
death camps are almost finished!

Noonan: no one trusts Congress therefore
we should get rid of it and have armed
citizenry enforce laws they make up

Stephanopoulos: it's just extending checks
from guns stores to gun shows Peggy

Noonan: well in that case I need a drink

Stephanopoulos: Reince Preibus says the
GOP is a bunch of stuffy old men and therefore
they need fewer debates and
maybe buy a computer

Rove: the GOP should tell people they will
deliver economic growth and not depressions

Messina: the GOP's ideas are incredibly unpopular

Stephanopoulos: they've become like
the Democrats in 1968

Noonan: the GOP gave Americans
the worst economic crash since 1929

Rove: pish posh

Noonan: the GOP is also seen as standing
for mismanaged wars based on lies

Rove: eep

Brazile: the Republican party is totally 
out to lunch they're condescending 
and call regular people victims

Moran: George W. Bush reached out
to the Sally Hemmings family – that would
be called pandering to victims now

Stephanopoulos: Rand Paul thinks that
Latinos are human beings too

Rove: The Republican Party is doing great
except for Todd Akin and Sharon Angle
and Murdock and also every hates Barack Obama

Stephan: whoa

Rove: Romney almost won the Latino vote
because they care about the debt

Stephanopoulos: what about immigration?

Rove: we're recruiting spaniards to school boards

Stephanopoulos: the Supreme Court is
going to take on gay rights and Hillary Clinton
came out this week behind the gays

Brazile: DOMA was a big mistake

Stephanopoulos: is John Roberts looking 
at his legacy?

Moran: the people are far ahead of the elites
but the court would prefer to leave it to the people

Noonan: Americans don't like black-robed masters in Washington

Stephanopoulos: awesome

Noonan: Rove v Wade was a tragedy because
it gave people rights all over America instead
of different rights in different states

Rove: even Ruth Bader Ginsburg thinks 
Rove v Wade was wrong

Stephanopoulos: what's Obama's position?

Messina: young voters think 
condoms should be legal

Moran: lots of Republicans have gay kids,
brothers, co-workers and Senators and
the world hasn't come to an end

Noonan: sometimes its good to wait
for civil rights for other people

Stephanopoulos: thanks for coming everyone


Sunday, March 17, 2013

Meet The Press - March 17, 2013

Cardinal Francis George
Rep. Chris Van Hollen (D-MD)
Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-CA)
Kathleen Kennedy Townshend
Chris Matthews
Frank Keating
Carly Fiorina
Ana Navarro
Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI)
Gregory: OMG we just got Francis' first Papal tweet!

Francis: ciao #thenewpope

George: the style is the substance

Gregory: what does this new pope mean
for the United States?

George: the latin guy can reach out to hispanics

Gregory: that makes sense

George: the Catholic church has gone global!

Gregory: can Francis reach out to Americans more?

George: Pope Benedict was very shy and
Francis is a pastor - also he likes baseball

Gregory: can he close the chapter
on sex abuse in the Church

George: no you don't close the chapter
because there are still victims

Gregory: fair enough

George: we've gotten rid of the perpetrators
and tried to make sure it won't happen again
but hey you never know

Gregory: Gary Bauer says the catholic church 
must stop gay marriage and abortion – 
how can you do that?

George: invoke the Holy Spirit!

Gregory: is that enough?

George: praise the lord and pass the admonition

Gregory: a lot of people use birth control you know

George: nations come and go Fluffy
the Catholic church is forever

Gregory: most impressive

Gregory: I don't care for your political 
labels there is only truth and false at 
least until the Church changes its mind

Gregory: how did you elect a Pope anyway?

George: a dance-off

Gregory: really?

George: no I'm just kidding

Gregory: thanks for coming

[ break ]

Gregory: Tweety can the church be reformed?

Matthews: Jesus was a nice Jewish 
boy who cared for the poor

Gregory: ha as a Jew I love it

Matthews: we're not going to slack on abortion
but sure we can have female priests

Gregory: this Pope is Latino!

Ana Navarro: we love it – we don't
even care he's Argentinian

Gregory: ha!

Navarro: he knows our history of political repression

Gregory: indeed he does

Navarro: the Vatican needs an outsider
to clean house promote women

Gregory: Kathleen you think the church
needs to worry less about abortion and
more about suffering and injustice

Townshend: he took the name Francis and
rode the bus – those are good signs for humility

Gregory: and he paid his own bar tab

Townshend: Jesuits believe you should care
about the poor and fix yourself

Matthews: RFK's middle name was Francis!

Gregory: how can the Pope use Twitter better?

Keating: it's very exciting to have a
Jesuit with my first name!

Gregory: I will call him Pope Frank

Keating: we need to reach out and 
care about the poor

Gregory: the Church is way out-of-touch 
even with Catholics

Matthews: the Church was way too slow to
respond to the abuse scandal because they
are covering up a lot of other stuff

Navarro: catholics like me just can't
get over the abuse and cover-up

Keating: I chaired the church's abuse
review board and we were horrified

Gregory: well sure

Keating: but the bishops were up-front 
and aggressive

Gregory: really?

Keating: well no

Gregory: can the Church prevent gay marriage
when they covered up child rape for decades?

Townshend: the nuns have been liberated
to take control of the church and stop
the men just focusing on sex

Gregory: that's a tall order

Navarro: the pope is just a regular human
who can make mistakes

Gregory: clearly

Matthews: American Catholics don't want
to impose their beliefs on other people

Gregory: is that right?

Matthews: there is a an American religion
and that is American is Awesome

Gregory: Amen!

[ break ]

Gregory: people think Obama doesn't like Israel
but he's visiting Theodr Herzl's grave –
what more do people want?

[ break ]

McCarthy: Obama said deficits don't matter

Gregory: actually that was Dick Cheney

Gregory: Chris is the debt a problem or not?

Van Hollen: unemployment causes the
deficit so if we grow jobs it will lower the debt

Gregory: if that's what it takes to 
lower the debt I suppose we could try it

McCarthy: no - it's a trap - Democrats are 
building up debt so they can wreck the country

Gregory: Paul Ryan can't be serious
about repealing Obamacare

McCarthy: Obama's debts caused
the recession in 2008

Gregory: they did?

McCarthy: debts hurt small business!  
Obama's debt caused the recession in 2009!

Van Hollen: this is completely insane –
they count savings from Obamacare in
their budget which repeals Obamacare!

Gregory: yes but people love lower
taxes and don't like higher taxes

Van Hollen: even Republicans would raise
taxes on the middle class to pay for tax
cuts for rich people

Gregory: is there any ratio of tax cuts
to spending cuts you would accept?

McCarthy: Obama spends too much time filling
out his March Madness brackets instead 
of cutting taxes, slashing spending 
and eliminating entitlements

Gregory: oh that's helpful

McCarthy: the democrats raise medicare!

Gregory: what the hell does that even mean?

McCarthy: the President never talks 
about cutting spending

Van Hollen: we cut $1.2 trillion!

McCarthy: that doesn't comport with my world view

Gregory: what about gun background checks?

McCarthy: the President never puts people
in jail for failing a background check!

Gregory: can we at least get bipartisan
agreement on the Keystone pipeline?

Van Hollen: no because it will make
climate change worse

McCarthy: this is common sense –
it will create 20,000 jobs!

Van Hollen: we're drilling more than
George W. Bush ever did

McCarthy: that doesn't count –
Obama isn't drilling in national parks

[ break ]

Gregory: Obama says we don't have debt crisis
and that we need to fix the economy

Walker: less spending leads to economic growth

Gregory: Democrats are not going to cut entitlements for you

Walker: yes it's a real problem –
the solution is to compromise by cutting taxes

Matthews: Republicans don't want to be
blamed for cutting Medicare

Gregory: Rand Paul says the GOP is covered
in moss and Marco Rubio says America is Awesome

Navarro: the GOP is like a dude with a split
personality having a healthy debate with himself

Keating: I don't agree with Rand Paul that  
the future of the Republican party 
is to legalize heroin and eliminate NATO

Gregory: what is it?

Keating: blaming Obama for the depression of 2008

Walker: the GOP will empower you with
the freedom to marry the person we want

Gregory: Senator Portman says gay people
should be allowed to experience the utter
soul-crushing misery of an unhappy marriage

Townshend: if you want economic growth
we should spend more money now

Walker: there are no gay people in Wisconsin

Gregory: why not – is it the cheese?

Walker: no they are too worried about
the terrible economy I preside over to have sex

Keating: the federal government should not
bludgeon states on civil rights – let them decide
who has fundamental liberties and who doesn't

Matthews: what about the pursuit of 
happiness and equal civil rights?

Walker: maybe the government shouldn't 
sanction marriage at all

Matthews: oh that's just a cop out

Navarro: bigotry is a personal choice which must be tolerated

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press

This Week with George Stephanopoulos - March 17, 2013

Host: Martha Raddatz
Rep. Xavier Becerra
George Will
Matthew Dowd
Carly Fiorina
Audie Cornish
Raddatz: OMG Obama's charm offensive
has failed to make the parties agree!

Audience: so sad

Raddatz: how was your dinner date
with Barack Obama?

Boehner: he's a nice guy but he doesn't want
to fix the budget by cutting taxes on rich people

Raddatz: do you trust Barack Obama?

Boehner: oh yes – we just need to cut
spending now that he's the President

Raddatz: Obama says we don't have 
an immediate debt crisis

Boehner: that's true - but old people
will eventually wreck America

Raddatz: when will that happen?

Boehner: in a year or two

Raddatz: but you agree with the President
that this is not an immediate problem

Boehner: yes but just we can't spend
more money than we have

Raddatz: we did that under Reagan 
Bush I and Bush II

Boehner: see how bad the problem is?!?

Raddatz: Obama says we need to create jobs

Boehner: balancing the budget will create jobs!
Investors will hire people when we halt spending!

Raddatz: can you get a Grand Bargain?

Boehner: hope springs eternal Martha

Raddatz: would you be willing to raise taxes
in exchange for cutting Social Security?

Boehner: no – Obama got his tax 
increases in January!

Raddatz: what would you accept?

Boehner: Slashing Medicare and Medicaid

Raddatz: Rand Paul said GOP is stale and
moss-covered and Marco Rubio says USA! USA!
what does the GOP need to do?

Boehner: Republicans need to persuade people
that ever since Obama became President slashing
spending became an imperative

Boehner: did Senator Portman admit to
you that he's secretly a tolerant Republican?

Boehner: yes and frankly I was shocked

Raddatz: what if you had a gay son?

Boehner: I grew up discriminating against 
gay people - it's what my church teaches
 and I will never change

Raddatz: what about gun control?

Boehner: look I care about people who
get shot but let's not go overboard

Raddatz: what does a new Pope mean for you?

Boehner: I think an American Pope is a
giant step forward and Francis is reformer

Raddatz: what kind of reform does the church need?

Boehner: clean up the finances, caring more
for the poor, oh and fewer decades-long
worldwide conspiracies to rape children

Raddatz: thanks for coming John

[ break ]

Raddatz: Hi panelists - can Washington
reach a budget agreement?

Will: Obamacare caused the recession in 2007
and Paul Ryan still wants to spend money

Fiorina: we must cut taxes on the rich
and cut Social Security

Becerra: low taxes on rich people 
is a form of spending

Cornish: when you don't hear anything
that's a sign a deal is being made

Dowd: I frequently lecture the President
in a condescending way about being condescending

Raddatz: CPAC is trying find ways  
to make the GOP more popular

Fiorina: Americans don't care about CPAC
they care about lower taxes for rich people

Will: the media is very mean to conservatives

Raddatz: that is so sad

Will: I see the Rise of the Libertarians

Becerra: they need to choose a path and stick with it

Raddatz: why didn't Marco Rubio 
mention immigration?

Cornish: because it's unpopular

Dowd: CPAC is like a Flintsones episode –
dinosaurs and tv reality show stars

Cornish: what's wrong with public discussion?

Dowd: nothing – just not with Neaderthals

Raddatz: Portman now supports gay marriage

Will: CPAC is mostly young people 
who don't hate gay people

Dowd: sure he's got a gay son –
that's a good way to get to the truth

Fiorina: people who discriminate 
are good people too

Raddatz: if you say so Carly

Fiorina: self-appointed judges should
not decide civil rights

Raddatz: they're appointed by the 
President and Congress

Fiorina: even so I don't trust legislators either

Raddatz: who do you trust

Fiorina: we must decide civil liberties by plebiscite!

Raddatz: Episode IV: A New Pope

Dowd: Francis of Assisi was a friend
to animals, the environment, the poor and
was barefoot and wore old clothes

Raddatz: he was a hippie?

Fiorina: even non-Catholics were united in
spirituality when the new Pope was named

Raddatz: that is so true – thanks 
for coming everyone


Sunday, March 10, 2013

Meet The Press - March 10, 2012

Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA)
Sen. Tom Coburn (R-OK)
Rep. Tulsi Gabbard (D-HI)
Rep. Cory Gardner (R-CO)
Joe Scarborough
Dee Dee Myers
Ruth Marcus
Fmr. Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN)
Fmr. Gov. Jeb Bush (R-FL)

Gregory: OMG Obama has finally realized
he has to be nice Republicans if he's
going cut entitlements!

Audience: oooh

Gregory: we could have a budget
deal by July! I'm squeeing!

Coburn: it shouldn't be news that Obama
is finally being nice to Republicans

Gregory: can you all make a deal?

Coburn: Obama must finally tell the
American people that Medicare
must be cut – I'm thrilled

Gregory: nice

Coburn: Obama has to stop poking
his finger in our eyes and adopt GOP policies

Kaine: good things are happening –
Democrats agreed to write a budget and
Republicans agreed not to purposefully
wreck the U.S. economy

Gregory: sweet

Kaine: we're rocking and rolling

Gregory: why is Obama reaching out
to Republicans now?

Scarborough: because he's been in 
Washington long enough to learn this 
whole city is a bunch of juvenile crybabies

Gregory: of course

Scarborough: also I am an awesome 
man of great accomplishments

Gregory: great

Scarborough: on the day the House 
impeached Bill Clinton he was on the 
phone with Newt Gingrich talking about 
bombing another country

Gregory: that is all kinds of awesome

Gabbard: we need to talk to each other

Gregory: would you accept any higher taxes?

Gardner: no

Gregory: ok

Gardner: we got tax hikes and now it's time
to cut spending finally now that we have
a Democrat in the White House

Coburn: I've spent 8 years reading the federal
budget and I've noticed that we waste a lot
of money since a Democrat became President

Gregory: excellent

Coburn: Washington politicians agree
on too much – spending money in bad ways

Scarborough: Republicans also spent too much
this has to stop now since a Democrat got elected!

Gregory: of course

Scarborough: we have to cut Medicare
now that a Democrat is President!

Gabbard: the American people are
frustrated that Medicare is wasteful

Gregory: Republicans say no more taxes

Gabbard: what about closing tax loopholes
the GOP says they dislike

Kaine: we give away over a trillion
dollars a year in taxes

Scarborough: Republicans can't
close tax loopholes - Obama has to give
Republicans cover by cutting Medicare
then maybe they can agree

Gardner: I hope Obama is not a liar –
but remember Obama lectured us
and chastised us – he's so mean

Kaine: oh stop whining and suck it up

Gardner: but Obama said Paul Ryan's
budget was a bumch of lies

Gregory: there was a once a beating on
the House floor and now it's considered
a big deal that Rand Paul does a 13-hour filibuster

Coburn: I just remembered the tyranny of
majority is bad since Democrats got the
White House and a majority in the Senate

Gregory: fascinating

Coburn: I thought Rand Paul's extended
rant while wrong was awesome

Gregory: now that Obama is President shouldn't
Congress have the guts to restrain the President?

Gardner: yes it's about time to limit the
power of the President since Obama took office!

Gabbard: yes I agree

Scarborough: I have been very concerned
about the power of the President to wage
attacks since Bush left and Obama was sworn in

Gregory: indeed

Scarborough: the White House dragged their
feet on the President's power to violate the
civil rights of an American citizen on American
soil and no I have never heard of Bush doing
the same thing to Jose Padilla in 2002

Gregory: Shouldn't Barack Obama be
just like Ronald Reagan?

Kaine: absolutely – my constituents tell
me make a deal – it doesn't matter 
what kind - just make a deal

Gregory: Obama demonized Republicans
isn't he terrible?

Coburn: yet and he's reaching out now but
it's going to take a long time for all the
hurt feelings from mean Barack Obama to heal

[ break ]

Gregory: should we hate Sheryl Sandburg
because she's succcessful?

Marcus: people love a good catfight – 
also she's rich and good looking –
no wonder people hate her

Gregory: why do women resent her?

Blackburn: women have to be twice as
good as men and she's three times better

Gregory: you all should aim higher

Blackburn: we all have to be the trailblazer

Gregory: let me explain what Sheryl
means to all of you

Sandburg: women need to be more amibtious

Gregory: what she's really saying ignore
men and lean in

Myers: thank you for explaining
that to us Fluffy

Gregory: you're welcome

Myers: women too often hold back in
running for office or trying to get promoted

Blackburn: women wait to be invited
and men push their way through

Marcus: women are afraid of looking rude
and men are unafriad to look stupid
or like assholes

Gregory: that's true – Steve what do you think

Schmidt: um...

Gregory: you tried to turn Sarah Palin
into a real candidate – how did that go?

Schmidt: Todd Palin was a great partner –
unfortunately he was also a moron

Gregory: but a great guy

Schmidt: any organization should give 
opportunity to women or it will fail – 
the GOP needs to work on this

Blackburn: you need to have a supportive family too
kids need to get in line!

Myers: successful women are going to be disliked

Marcus: go for it anyway

Blackburn: some men are not comfortable
with women leaders

Gregory: what should I tell my daughters –
be a CEO or be a good wife and have kids?

Schmidt: my wife should be admired for
leaving her career and raising our kids

Marcus: women still worry about balancing
work and family and men don't

Gregory: true enough

Marcus: also when try jobs you're not
qualified for like Sarah Palin you set
the whole feminist movement back

Schmidt: yeah sorry about that ladies

[ break ]

Gregory: Jeb you don't want to give
undocument immigrants a path to citizenship

Bush: we should give them worse benefits
than people who are waiting patiently

Gregory: ok

Bush: I wrote this book to make people
who hate immigrants happy

Gregory: Romney said Obama won by
handing out gooodies to poor people –
would more immigration just create
more Democratic voters?

Bush: no because Asian-Americans are
not poor and they voted for Obama 70-24

Gregory: ouch

Bush: we just need to convince people the
Republican stands for more than failed
wars and wrecked economies

Gregory: should a person who hired an
undocumented immigrant be disqualified?

Bush: nah hell we've all done it

Gregory: won't you be a great disappointment
to your mother if you don't get elected
President of the United States of America

Bush: yes – Kennebunkport is like the
downeast House of Atreus

Gregory: what do people think of
your brother's Presidency?

Bush: my father was more than the
Jimmy Carter of the GOP!

Gregory: I asked you about your brother

Bush: I think history will be very
kind to George W. Bush

Gregory: [ SPIT TAKE ]

Gregory: who is more likely to be President
you or Marco Rubio?

Bush: oh my god you Beltway journalists
are like heroin addicts

Schmidt: Jeb is well-situtationed for the
White House – he's a deep thinker and
everyone flip-flops

Gregory: Rand Paul is creating a youthful
movement of crazy people

Marcus: I loved his nutty useless filibuster

Gregory: oh so did I

Marcus: the whole GOP is cracking up –
neocon vultures, pro-war psychos, small
government anti-Obamas, pro-life vaginal probers...

Schmidt: Rand Paul asked a very important
question about whether Obama will
start murdering white people

Gregory: what about Ashley Judd?

Blackburn: I like her a lot

Gregory: would you support her?

Blackburn: I might – I once crossed
Naomi Judd and she slashed the
tires on my house

Gregory: and that's another episode
of Meet The Press