Host:
Jake Tapper
Guest:
Rahm Emanuel - White House Chief of Staff
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Tapper: Hi Rahm - the CEO of BP went yachting
in Britain!
Emanuel: jesus fucking christ and people think
I have a bad image!
Tapper: he got his life back
Emanuel: if he was in Chicago I’d take him out
on a boat and he wouldn’t come back
Tapper: like Gilligan?
Emanuel: he’d sleep with the fucking fishes
Tapper: are you pleased with BP’s capping
of the well?
Emanuel: well since they haven’t then I’d say
fucking no
Tapper: so what are you doing
Emanuel: we forced BP to dig more relief wells, capture more oil and give us $20 billion for miscellaneous expenses
Tapper: if we are at war then how can we have bureaucracy which the military never has
Emanuel: hey there’s 17,000 soldiers down there ready to shoot any living thing that moves
Tapper: excellent
Emanuel: But we have to understand Louisiana is not like Florida - the politicians there are owned by an entirely different set of corporations
Tapper: Joe Barton apologized to BP getting American sand in their oil
Emanuel: well that’s the GOP for you - defend BP
for the outrage of forcing a corporation to clean up their mess
Tapper: shocking
Emanuel: if they were in charge the Republicans would arrest gulf fishermen for getting their nets
into BP god-given oil
Tapper: how do you respond the charge that you
are Che Guevaraxists
Emanuel: hey Bush just wrote checks!
Tapper: that his body couldn’t cash
Emanuel: I like to use a jawbone
Tapper: of an ass?
Emanuel: if I have to Tappster
Tapper: will Obama insist on a carbon tax?
Emanuel: that depends on what those fuckers
in Congress do
Tapper: Afghanistan is now the longest war in American history
Emanuel: except for the war on drugs, war on
cancer and war on poverty
Tapper: and war on terror
Emanuel: right - look Bush ignored Afghanistan for years and years and Obama is finally focused
on getting us out
Tapper: by sending in more troops
Emanuel: yes but they have a great police force
now with nice uniforms
Tapper: oh that’s good
Tapper: Is Bibi coming back to America?
Emanuel: yes he’s been busy attacking ships in international waters but now he’s coming to definitely make peace
Tapper: We’re in the middle of a recession so shouldn’t we have spending cuts?
Emanuel: [ punches Tapper in the face ]
Tapper: Ow!
Emanuel: sorry I always wanted to do that
Tapper: are we in a recovery
Emanuel: no doubt we’re growing the economy and adding jobs but we’re not there yet
Tapper: what do you want?
Emanuel: an energy bill, financial reform, lending to small businesses, hire teachers
Tapper: How terrible is President Obama?
Emanuel: he’s not
Tapper: [interrupting] but he does suck
Emanuel: [ lunges forward, puts Tapper in a chokehold ]
Tapper: Aaarrrgghh
Emanuel: Elections are about choices motherfucker!!
Tapper: okay okay
Emanuel: [ squeezing ] Tap out Tapper!!
Tapper: [ taps out ]
Emanuel: [ lets go ]
Obama is going to run against Joe Barton
and win dipshit!
Tapper: is Obama corrupt for offering Joe Sestak
a job in exchange nothing?
Emanuel: let me answer this way Jake
[ delivers roundhouse kick to Tapper’s head ]
Tapper: [ on the floor ]
thanks for coming Rahm
Emanuel: no thank you fucker!
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